You know you're a missionary when...

2/22/10
You know you're a missionary when...

-> It dosen't even occur to you to use a fork when eating.
-> You can (when the need arises), without blinking an eye, change clothes in front of a roomful of people (there's a technique involved...)
-> You're told you're fat, sometimes several times a day.
-> You can't understand why people need chairs.
-> You call your grandma "Pee-Pee" and your grandpa "Poo-Poo." (No joke! Sometimes the language is hilarious.)
-> Even the married men you know wear skirts.
-> Instead of wondering why people are staring at you, you think it's strange if they don't.
-> You've cheerfully accepted the presence of miscelanious little critters in your food as an excellent source of protein (bye-bye vegetarianism!)
-> You don't know how to sleep with a pillow.
-> Your new name is "White Person" and somehow everywhere you go everybody always already knows it.
-> You've acquired an awesome tan and yet still people marvel at your whiteness.
-> You've been spied at through holes in the restroom walls.
-> Gas for the motorbike's a necessity and toilet paper a luxury.
-> You dream of subs, seven-layers, and snowstorms.
-> Politeness and generosity are a way of life.
-> On good days, you own the equivalant to $15 and you're very possibly one of the richest people you know.
-> You consider yourself to be alright financially 'til you're below $3.
-> You've ever prayed for the loss of one of your senses - smell!
-> You know what it's like to be deaf, dumb, and illiterate.
-> You're current roomates are leggy little beings, dark and fuzzy, about the size of your palm, with the potential of increasing exponentially.
-> You can judge the time before light by how many roosters are crowing.
-> You know that the poorest people are some of the happiest in the world.
-> You've almost forgotten what you look like as you don't have a mirror.
-> If by chance you see another white person, you forget your own ethnical status and join the natives in their cry of, "Look! Look! A WHITE person!" And catch yourself making similar snyde comments as to his tanned whiteness, disporportionate nose, and ungainly size.
-> You've ever come across road workers reclining horizontally across the road while taking a siesta and rather than moving they let you drive around them.
-> Your heartrate does not accelerate even though that vehicle just missed you by a foot.
-> You've decided that a sense of humor is a lifeskill.

"By their fruits ye shall know them..."