Why Am I Here?

8/20/10
That's the question that's been on my mind the last few days. Why am I here? As in Asia - Thailand.

I look around me and see people - natives - that are so much better qualified to do the work I've been attempting...
They can speak... they're natural teachers... they understand their people... they're not shy... many know their Bibles better than I know mine... they're not grossly over-sized or disporportionate in comparison and they don't stand out like a lightbulb in the midst of the night... they know how to work better... many are a better representation of health and strength... they're more nimble and have better endurance... many have had the priviledge of a better educational background... And I could go on and on...
Most, with just minimal training, could do the work I attempt much more effectively.
Most of the time anything I do feels like a needle lost in a haystack...
So why am I here? Why has God put me here at this moment in time?

Maybe God placed me here more for my own sake then theirs......?

The picture that comes to mind is that of a butterfly. I feel like a caterpillar going through its metamorphosis. It's struggling to come out of its cocoon, fighting and yearning to be at peace and rest, gracefully soaring with the others. Every movement and bit of progress is a struggle. It feels like it can't do this...and yet by instinct it knows that in order to survive it must go on.
In so many ways that's us. Struggling to get past language, cultural, and spiritual barriers... Our hope being to one day be able to walk, and talk and share the gospel with these people - there's so many who haven't heard.