Who am I to charge God with having something more "exciting" in store for my life? What's my purpose in life anyways -- to serve God, or to hound after adventure, experiences, and adrenaline thrills? And exactly who do I have the audacity to think that I am... to venture to think that the plans of my creation are what my Creator created me for.
Words of recent rebuke to myself from my journal. God has spoken to my heart giving me a new vision for service - one that may require a more long-term commitment and that goes completely against anything I have ever envisioned myself being involved in. (Although I would have fully supported anyone else's doing so.) All of a sudden I could hear the thoughts of my heart for what they were and I was so ashamed of myself. Me questioning God as to if this is really what He would have for me as I was meant for more "adventurous" work. Yeah. Sad.
You see, I love adventure. And I knew that because of that God made me to work flying as a bush pilot in Alaska...or I should have adventures as a backpack medic in the jungles of Burma...or at least do medical relief work in Afghanistan...and, if not that, God certainly made me to be a paramedic on the streets of some busy city in the States, there for others in their emergencies... That's how I would serve. Right? I mean of course! Yes, without a doubt! Because God would want me to be happy! And He knows I couldn't be happy doing something that's listed as more "boring" or domestic in my book.
Or couldn't I?
What I now know is that - wonder of wonders! - I could. And I couldn't only just be happy. I could be exuberantly joyfully happy. If that's what my Father wants.
After all, His calling is His enabling...